Recently I have spent a lot of time working with students. I am advising students at two different schools as they work on their final year projects. Thinking about their futures–the blank canvas of their career before them–has given me cause to think about my first 15 years working for big business. I have much to be proud of. And quite a few mistakes to regret.
But my mistakes do not haunt me any more. I turned them into something precious that I hope betters me and improves my decision making.
We all have core values that guide our daily activities and influence our personal development. My values are precious to me. Some of them were born like gems from the intense pressure and heat caused by colossal failures. Others are expelled like a pearl wrenched from an irritation not unlike sand in a clam’s maw. My professional errors have made me a better coworker. Its a shame I had to learn these lessons the hard way.
So, here’s to the class of 2014 and all those just recently added to the workforce. And should this blog last another fifteen years, I offer this record to myself at age 54. What would you add to the list?
Prefer Influence to Orders
The benefits of bureaucracy are clear ownership and chain of command. This clarity makes it easy for a boss to tell a subordinate to “just do it”. And it makes it easy for one department to order another “because we own this project”. But the ostensible authority of bureaucracy is illusory. The perceived simplicity of the decision masks discontent and chaos.
No one–and I believe this is one statement that is categorically true–likes to be ordered. Every person that finds their way into a job has a unique perspective on a problem and its solution. When individuals take time to understand these perspectives they make better solutions. When they take time to explain their own perspective and synthesize others’ they are more likely to build a network of eager supporters. A team of people believing in a project will outperform any group doing what they were told to do.
Admittedly, consensus cannot always be reached. Since responsibility ultimately lies with one person occasionally an order is needed to proceed. But this is always, always less effective than building consensus.
Don’t Go Negative
There is a contagion of positivity I have seen among successful people. The vision they paint based on successes and optimism is beautiful, dynamic, and believable. Conversely, a future based on promises of others’ failures provides no guides for action. It is unclear. It is unreliable.
Consider this: any time you sling mud at a personal or professional opponent your audience interprets it using their own bias. If they agree with your position the negativity may hurt your image and harm your cause. If they disagree with you they will certainly dislike you for acrimony. So, who will this message positively effect? A small group that already dislikes your opponent and enjoys demeaning them. Leave that audience alone. Stoking their bitter energy gets you nowhere.
Pause Before Arguing
What is it about human nature that in emotional situations makes us return fire with a gunslinger’s speed and lethal intent? See an email that angers you and I bet you are tingling to slam out the perfect blistering response. Have a friend slight you and a biting response must be contained lest is launches instantly. It is strange how itchy our verbal triggers become when our feelings are hurt.
I learned this rule first with emails but honed it when dealing with people. If you feel very strongly about your response–emotionally or intellectually–is is universally better to take the time to craft a response. Do you think coworker’s idea is just hopelessly uninformed or misguided? Hear the idea out and take some time to think about it. Minimally your time in consideration will help you reply more wisely. But it may also help you synthesize new information and refine your plan. And certainly your respectful attitude will be appreciated.
And it goes without saying that no argument was ever won with an email response banged out 30 seconds after its predecessor arrived.
Strategize in Advance of Conflict
I have always thought myself a slow thinker. Maybe I sometimes solve conflict in the long run but I never had the gift of making fast and correct decisions. I admire those that can do this. But I admire from afar. It is just not me.
However, I usually know in advance when conflict might arise. I know there will be conflict based on the scope and impact of my idea. A project’s result may benefit an organization. But rarely does disruption only yield gains. Invariably some will predict the results undesirable.
I find the following a useful drill before I share my biggest ideas. Consider everyone that may be impacted, positively or negatively. Put myself in each person’s position, imagining how they may appreciate or fear my project. With a mental map of potential discussions–points and counterpoints and counter-counterpoints–I then go and attempt to influence. The preparation enriches my ability to understand others’ opinions and share deeper thoughts.
Conclusion
That’s all for my first 15 years. I can only imagine how this list will grow or change in the next 15. I will work hard to never repeat the above mistakes. But I am sure to make some new ones. I only hope that each of my future errors builds values that improve the future me.