Yesterday I returned home from a blissful five days in Boracay in the Philippines. The trip was perfect, bookended a painful travel experience on Cebu Pacific Air. A few years ago I lost my patience with the crap to which budget airlines subject us. I am now prepared and financially comfortable with parting with S$50 for a better experience. But in this case the travel reservations were made by my girlfriend’s friend. So, I summarily lost my right to bitch. Nonetheless, here I am.
Problem 1: the budget airlines in Singapore save money by using a budget terminal. The budget terminal at Changi minimizes food, drink, and duty free options, which can make a long wait feel a bit longer. But that really doesn’t matter much. You won’t get to enjoy time in the non-existent lounge because the checkin is rigged to take 45 minutes. The counter does not open until 90 minutes before and 100% of the flight’s passengers are in line with no less than 60 minutes left before the flight. With only two people checking everyone in, it would take 45 minutes to check in everyone if they took only 30 seconds per person. But there’s no way they will average 30 seconds per person. That is because…
Problem 2: many of the people in line are going to get a rude surprise when they try to check in. The small group in front of us was surprised by the outrageous overweight luggage fees to check in. This group brought 20 kg more luggage than the airline allowed. The S$20 per kg fine meant they needed to fork over S$400 to get on the plane. They were understandably irate and spent 20 minutes attempting to argue the fine away. They were unsuccessful.
Problem 3: after our long wait I was given a ticket to a phantom seat. The image below shows my boarding pass for seat 31D. As you can see in the background, this particular row only had seats 31E and 31F. The aisle’s opposite side had 31A, 31B, and 31C. This plane had no seat 31D on it, yet a boarding pass was printed. The flight attendant performed the last minute edits before we took off.
Problem 4: the service was really bad. Halfway through our return home I walked to the back of the plane to get some water. Both of the flight attendants were asleep.
Problem 5: everything costs money. This is no surprise to anyone that has taken a budget airline before. The implied agreement between you and the budget airline is if you are willing to be miserable during the flight then you can save money. But if you want to enter the cattle queue for boarding it will cost you extra, if you want to check luggage it will cost you extra, if you want to drink water it will cost you extra. Reminds me of this awesome budget airline ditty I saw a few months back.
To sum up: don’t fly Cebu Pacific Air.